Father's Day...

June 19, 2015  •  Leave a Comment

There is always Two Sides to every argument, especially when the Family Courts have to deal with the fall out of the full complexities of warring parents regarding their Children...

 

Sometimes the kids appear to have been forgotten, and even when certain agencies are brought into help the decision making of the Family Court Judges, with a  process that can take years to come to any final agreeable conclusion...

 

Some agencies will still side with the parent who shouts the loudest, or shows enough creative emotional arguments, or they will stay with the status quo, because it’s less paper work for them, because of the over-load of cases they have to deal with...

 

A  Judge in most cases will just rubber stamp reports, after reading the reports requested from agencies like Cafcass, Guardian Ad Litem or Specialist Social Worker, which some time can lead to the relationship of a Father and his Children   being damaged due to  poor decision made...

 

Some Fathers have to learn to Suck it up, and learn to live with the decision made, and hope when their kids get old enough they will be able to have some  type of normal relationship again with their kids…

 

The truth of the matter is in some cases you never will, because some Fathers become strangers to their own flesh and blood, and they have to start building a relationship all over again, and trust me it is not always easy, especially when you see the personality of your ex-partner in your kids…

 

The other sad consequences of battling over children is the unknown legal expenses, that can go into many thousands of pounds with Solicitors and Barrister fees, as well as  court fees to be paid. I know some fathers who have spent some silly amount of money only at the conclusion of their emotional journey and money spent, they have nothing to show for it... 

 

In talking to Fathers struggling to see their children, you will learn about the up and down many will have and about the  Fathers experiences with the Court System, as well as the various issues encountered when trying to gain access to their kids whenever they can, including to deal with the tear jerking moments of words coming out of their kids mouth that some time can cut you like a sharp knife cutting through butter,  all because of the programming of a their own child by the mother... 

 

I think one of the hardest things to prove is Parental Alienation Syndrome or the mother guilt of programming of children that are caught up in Parental Family Court issues, since some mothers have had enough time to say subtle words or hints , that sooner or later become part of the child make up, or vocabulary so at the appropriate time they just come out or negative behaviour is exhibited, that puts the father in a bad light... 

 

Father’s day will mean different things to different Fathers depending where you are in the world. For some Fathers, Father’s Day is just another reminder of one of Life's Injustices, when a Mother chooses not to allow a Father to see his kids...

 

Father's seeking a Full Time Residence Order, Shared Residence Order, Contact Order, need to be 100% sure what they want from any court proceedings, plus  can they  afford the the financial commitment required in seeking the Court's help to be a Father to their kids...

 

The other key factor is to have a good legal team that will represent your interest, at the same time remembering that the Courts are ultimately  concerned about the best interest of the children caught up in the adult issues, and Legal Professionals are more than aware of that fact, even though it does not always look like that sometimes... 

 

Some Fathers have been successful in their application with the help of friends with some knowledge, who can some time  act as a Mckenzie Friends, as a support in court but without the right to speak in any court hearing...  

 

Again some Fathers have acquired valuable information from various Father's Website Help Sites, since it is so important to know how the Family Legal System works, as well as your Right as a Father with or without Parental Responsibility seeking a legal remedy for you and your children...

 

Some Fathers have lost years of quality time with their children, the never knowing of your children, good times and bad times, never reading them bedtime stories, as well as saying their prayers at night before they fall asleep...

 

Not having the experiences with your kids that many Fathers take for granted, or not having the memories of your children, that will put a smile on your face in the twilight days of your life, that is why I am encouraging Fathers like me not to give up hope in seeing their Sons or Daughters again, since even they will need some happy memories of their Father one day...

 

Finally I am more than aware that some Fathers are a poor excuse as Fathers, and do not always have the best interest of their children for whatever reason, for that reason I and so many Fathers would like to salute those Mothers who have done right by their kids, because they realise whatever the issues are between adults, that Children need to have their Fathers in their life...

 

Happy Father’s Day to you all…

 


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